It seems that no matter how old or developed we are, how mature we think ourselves to be, it all goes out the window when it comes to relationships. I recently observed a thirteen-year-old boy playing matchmaker with people much older than he. I laughed at this, wondering why self-respecting college students would listen to the advice of a kid in something so important. Then I realized that we grown-ups, mature and sophisticated as we may think we are, really haven't progressed much from the love lives we led as thirteen-year-olds. This kid's advice is as good as anyone's, really.
I stepped back and took stock of my own dating strategies: flirting shamelessly, making myself look better than I am, interrogating girls' roommates, and (most recently) following the advice of kids in junior high. I thought about myself at thirteen and the mad crush I had on a girl named Chelsy. Our "romance" started at a seventh grade band concert. She was the cutest girl in the trombone section. (The only girl in the trombone section, actually. But cute nonetheless.) Step one was to ask around about her to be sure she was my "type." (At thirteen I think the criteria was: bike-riding ability, love of candy, and an appreciation for "Boy Meets World.") Next, naturally, I befriended her little brother and got him to get me an "in" with his sister. I started spending time at their house and falling more and more in shallow prepubescent love with young Chelsy. I was sure to always be wearing my sweet high tops and cool "Rugrats" t-shirt whenever I knew I'd run into her and I made sure she was impressed by my intelligence and wit. My next step was to ask her friends how she felt and as soon as I had the green light I went full speed ahead. She finally told me how she really felt via a letter sent from girls' camp (that's right...girls' camp) and I was in heaven. Not only had my feelings finally been reciprocated, but I had mastered a pattern that has served me well (though that is debatable) until today.
So, here I am, in the same place and up to the same tricks. I wonder what Chelsy is up to, whether she’s still rocking the trombone, whether she has found a better way to navigate the waters of dating and romance. I doubt it. I don’t know if any of us have. I guess I’ll just keep on going. I’m about to step three now…
1 comment:
hey mat! well, it's me! the love advisor himself. first of all, i was fourteen when this all happened! second, well, actually i don't have a second one. third, nope, not one of those either! i love your blog though, it's awesome! haha
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