Seven confessions

-There are three books I pretend I’ve read but never finished.
-I do not floss. Ever.
-I don’t think I’m as smart as my GPA indicates.
-I speed. Always.
-Sometimes I don’t like foreign films. In fact, sometimes I crave really stupid movies. I usually don’t give in, however.
-I judge people by their shoes more often than I like to admit.
-Sometimes I daydream about being a professional athlete. Really.

Psych out

I’m sitting in my psychology class working on a “group presentation” with a couple of guys I’m sitting next to. One of them is trying to explain why he, in spite of his white skin, deserves a multicultural scholarship because he’s a seventh generation Californian and only three generations ago California had barely become a part of the United States. I stopped myself from trying to correct any one of the absurdities in his logic, realizing that I’ve done nothing but argue with what he has said since our discussion began. He has, in fact, been wrong about nearly everything he’s said in the last ten minutes but he’s talking in the “I’m smart” voice, which has fooled our third group member into believing that if white people have higher SAT scores than minorities, then the palest white people must be the smartest. Am I in college? I wonder sometimes.
Okay, I’m being too harsh. He’s mentioned his (pale) wife several times and I have to bear in mind that this guy got a woman to fall in love with him. There has got to be more than meets the eye. I’m sure if I gave him a chance I could come to understand him better. I like to think I’m getting better at looking past what is initially off-putting and assuming there is something I can’t see. The old Matthew would roll his eyes and make a mental note not to sit in this row again. (Isn’t it weird how people tend to always sit in the same spots in a classroom?) However, the new Matthew is not so dismissive. I hope.
I think the guy sitting next to me (the neutral member of the group) has been reading this over my shoulder. I should be nicer.

A week in the life...

I had the idea that maybe if I made blogging a weekly activity I would do it more faithfully. So, here's a quick summary of this last one.
The second week of classes went just swimmingly. (We should use that word more.) I actually have two tests during the coming week, but we won't think about that now. At the moment, I'm happy my English class is teaching me to be a grown-up and to read boring things. (Look, I'm sorry, Benjamin Franklin, but your autobiography is just too long.) I'm discovering some really interesting pieces of literature though. Well, not discovering since I suppose their inclusion in an anthology and on my syllabus makes their content anything but uncharted territory. Perhaps I'm just trying to make up for the years I've spent as a student avoiding reading substantial non-theatrical material. That must be it.
My psychology class is really interesting and I forgot how easy 100-level classes are. (Don't hate me, my young friends.) That means it's fun and interesting without being especially challenging. Which, sometimes, is quite nice.
What else, what else...I'm enjoying work. It seems that every time I work I discover more things that I don't know and I look forward to the day when I feel more comfortable with it all. It's something I really want to be good at so I'm willing to work for it. This job has me exploring career options that I'd never even considered before. Jake suggested the other day that he, Addi, and I each get a foster child to take care of and raise them in our student apartment. It was a funny proposition. (No, we're not going to do that.)
Other than that, I suppose there isn't much going on. I had a nice Independence Day yesterday. I went hiking with some friends and then another friend and I crashed a family barbecue in American Fork. It was fun being with a family, even if it wasn't mine. I tried to figure out why I don't see myself as particularly patriotic and I may have reached a conclusion. America as an entity doesn't mean a great deal to me. I love so many things about this country but I think I'd be just as happy living somewhere else where the same basic civil liberties were available to me. I appreciate and acknowledge the sacrifices made by those who made this country what it is but I see those stories more as chronicles of the strength of the human spirit than anything else. I admire William Wilberforce as much as George Washington but neither one for their citizenship in any particular nation. If that admiration makes me a patriot, great! If not, however, I might just have to accept that.
Anyway, that was weird. I finished off the week with a nice uplifting Sunday. Church was great today and this evening we had a little gathering at my place where cinnamon rolls were consumed and "Werewolves" was played. It was intense. I can't sleep, even though I have to be up in six hours. Yes, six. It's going to be a long week. I guess I'll go try again.

Shameless plug. For myself.

So, I have a new blog. It's devoted to playwriting (as is a big portion of my life, if you didn't know) so check it out!

http://mgplays.wordpress.com

This is all that I ask for:

(A record store. Matthew is browsing the used DVD’s. He looks frustrated. Girl approaches.)

GIRL
That’s a good one.

MATTHEW
Huh?

GIRL
“Annie Hall.” Isn’t that...
(Gets a closer look at the DVD case.)
Oh, “Annie.”
(Suppresses a laugh.)

MATTHEW
Yeah, I was just...

GIRL
No, no. By all means...

MATTHEW
Really, I was just looking to see when it was made.

GIRL
Uh huh.

MATTHEW
I wasn’t going to buy it.

GIRL
Because you already have it.

MATTHEW
Oh, come on.

GIRL
Or, let me guess, present for your girlfriend?

MATTHEW
If I had one of those, she wouldn’t be a fan of movies like this.

GIRL
Uh huh.

MATTHEW
You totally don’t believe me.

GIRL
No, I do.
(He gives her a look.)
Really, I do.

MATTHEW
(Handing her a DVD.)
Here’s “Annie Hall.” I mean, if you were looking for it.

GIRL
Oh, I wasn’t. I just...

MATTHEW
...couldn’t help noticing me noticing “Annie Hall?”

GIRL
Sorry, was that weird of me?

MATTHEW
No.

GIRL
Yeah, it was. And now you’re all embarrassed and denying your love of musicals...

MATTHEW
(Putting “Annie” back on the shelf.)
You’re not gonna let that go, are you?

GIRL
Really, I don’t usually...approach people like that.

MATTHEW
Well, for the record I love “Annie Hall.”

GIRL
Me too, I watched it when I was younger but I didn’t really get it. You know?

MATTHEW
Yeah, I was that way with “Ghostbusters.”

GIRL
You know I’ve never actually seen that whole movie?

MATTHEW
What?!

GIRL
I know!

MATTHEW
No way!

GIRL
It’s one of those that no one watches now because they’ve all seen it, you know? I think it’s on my Netflix queue.

MATTHEW
Yeah, I use that line. It’s alright, you know? You don’t have to watch it, I guess.

GIRL
Well, thank you.

MATTHEW
But you’re missing out. I actually just watched “Annie Hall” this afternoon.

GIRL
For the first time?

MATTHEW
Yep. I’ve been watching a lot of movies lately, got surgery last week.

GIRL
Oh really? What kind of surgery?

MATTHEW
(Beat.)
How about we change the subject?
(They laugh.)
Sorry, I don’t know why I brought that up.

GIRL
I don’t know why I asked. I don’t really need to know.

MATTHEW
You don’t want to know.
(Beat.)
So...

GIRL
(Looking at “Annie Hall.”)
You know what I love about this movie? That montage at the end, with Diane Keaton singing and, you know, all the cheesy moments from the movie.

MATTHEW
Yeah.

GIRL
I don’t know. And you remember all of that started with a game of tennis, and she gave him a ride, and it all went from there. It’s just interesting, you know, thinking you can find someone to...give yourself to. And it’ll be something so simple. I mean, in the movie...
(Beat.)
It’s a good one.

MATTHEW
Yeah...What’s your name?

GIRL
Jordan. And...

MATTHEW
Matthew.

JORDAN
Nice to meet you. Uh, yeah. I recommend that one.
(Starts to move off.)

MATTHEW
Anything else?

JORDAN
(Turning back.)
What?

MATTHEW
I mean, other recommendations?
(She gives him a perplexed look.)
Sorry, just...

JORDAN
Well, I looked through most of these used ones. Not much here.

MATTHEW
Yeah the buy two get one free thing presumes we can find three we want to take home.

JORDAN
Exactly.

MATTHEW
I actually did a couple times.

JORDAN
Me too.

MATTHEW
We must have snatched up anything worth buying.

JORDAN
Right.

MATTHEW
I mean...
(Looking at the DVD’s.)
“The Love Guru.” Really?

JORDAN
And the, what, seventh “American Pie” movie? How many of these do we need?

MATTHEW
It’s for a generation raised on “Land Before Time.”

JORDAN
(Laughs.)
Right.

MATTHEW
Yeah, this was a bust, I think.

JORDAN
Better luck next time.

MATTHEW
Hey, uh...This is kind of...But, what are you doing tonight?

JORDAN
It’s 9:45.
(Beat.)
Nothing so far.

MATTHEW
I mean, I could get your number and call you up, ask you out, and we could have a great time. But, what about now?

JORDAN
I’m intrigued. You didn’t have any plans tonight?

MATTHEW
Well, I was going to eat a pizza by myself, watch “Citizen Kane,” and probably write a blog about our society’s abysmal taste in movies.

JORDAN
Sounds like fun.

MATTHEW
Actually, I’d probably think about writing a blog but I’d just end up falling asleep watching “How I Met Your Mother” episodes from a sketchy Japanese website.

JORDAN
Side Reel?

MATTHEW
Wow, how embarrassing that you know that.

JORDAN
So, what did you have in mind?

MATTHEW
Uh, I...My plan really only got as far as “Wanna go out.” Do you like food?

JORDAN
I love it. I had dinner a couple hours ago, but...

MATTHEW
How about we split an app sampler at Applebees?

JORDAN
Ooh, that sounds great. Do you like the mozzarella sticks?

MATTHEW
They’re all yours.

JORDAN
Hmmm, maybe we could sub more buffalo wings.

MATTHEW
That’s what I like to hear.

JORDAN
Then what?

MATTHEW
Ummm...

JORDAN
See where the evening takes us?

MATTHEW
(Laughs.)
Wow, I’ve never tried that.

JORDAN
Neither have I.

MATTHEW
Sounds great.
(They walk together out of the store.)
Funny story, I was there with my buddy the other day and he thought our waitress was cute, but he was afraid she saw him checking out this other waitress...
(They exit.)

Just the perfect blend-ship

This will be one of those sappy blog entries that makes people wonder who I am and what I’ve done with Matthew Greene. I hung out one night last week with a group of friends I haven’t seen for a while. It was a good time and I was happy to have the chance to catch up and see how life has been treating them. (You know, marriage, babies, missions, the basics.) I was glad to see they have kept in touch and a little disappointed that I haven’t stayed as close as they have. But most of all it made me reflect.
You see, this group of friends came into my life right when I needed them. And I do not want to sound like some overstuffed New Era testimonial in saying this, but I realized what a blessing their friendship was. I was going through what was indisputably the most difficult period in my life and I was determined not to let anyone know. I had moved into a new student ward and I was wary of diving into any social scene. A combination of health issues, personal struggles, and big disappointments gave me enough misguided motivation to keep to myself. My acquaintance with these few good souls (wow, what am I, one hundred years old?) changed that.
The really remarkable thing is that, barring espionage or supreme powers of perception, they had no way of knowing really what was going on with me. Of course, as we got to be closer friends I told them some of the gory details (and wouldn’t you like to know what they were) but for the most part they had no idea. I was just a guy in their ward who struck up a conversation at a “Linger Longer” and got roped into a “Dinner Group.” (I was not yet dead set against such singles ward festivities.) They weren’t trying to “reach out” or “fellowship” someone they thought was in trouble. At least I don’t think they were. (Not any more than people in general think I’m “in trouble,” that is…) The fact is, they were a group of fun people who liked to have a good time and shared their general love of living with everyone around them.
I didn’t realize it at the time and perhaps I didn’t think about it as fully as I should until the other night, but these friends, simply by being themselves and being able to show kindness and love to each other, lifted me out of the proverbial rut and helped me to have a better time than I would have thought possible that fateful Spring term, oh so long ago. They weren’t trying to be anything more than they were: good people and good friends. But that was exactly what I needed.
I got me thinking (because, really, what doesn’t?) about my own interactions with people. Often I find myself wanting to help people I think are having a difficult time. I’ll try to do exactly what these people did not: reach out, extend sympathy, offer advice, try to understand what they’re going through, etc. Perhaps we all just need to simply be cool and have a good time. I guess what I’ve realized is that when we’re doing that we’re giving more to those around us than we realize. And the nights when I think my time is better spent sitting at home and working on my latest project could perhaps be better spent just having fun with friends. Apparently, it makes a big difference
So, other then a public cyberspace “thank you” to any of those few and pround who know who they are, I guess this blog should serve to reaffirm my commitment to be a good friend to those few friends I have and the those I should be making. It’s also a reminder to all you tuning in at home that maybe we in being ourselves and loving each other are working miracles in the lives of those around us every day. And chances are, we have no idea.

Graveyard Shift

I’ve found I’d rather watch my second choice TV show than endure the commercials they show on Lifetime. This should, perhaps, make me wonder why I want to watch Lifetime programming in the first place.
I’m working a graveyard shift tonight and I’m employing everything in my disposal to stay awake. My friend told me to write a blog entry of my late night thoughts. The night is still young but I figured I’d get started now.
I really need to pace myself. I think among the many lessons I’ll learn tonight will be the importance of saving either the box of cookies, the bag of chips, or the package of candy for a little later than midnight. Tasty as the Zours are they would probably be of more assistance when my eyelids inevitably start drooping to the point of slapping myself to stay awake.
1:41 AM: I just finished watching “Slumdog Millionaire,” a movie that I would recommend without hesitation to just about anyone. I love that there’s still a place somewhere for the unabashed optimism we see in Bollywood films. “Slumdog” deals with some tough stuff but there is a sense of destiny, of the universe conspiring for the good of our hero. And there’s just something cathartic about rooting for the underdog and watching him win a fortune AND end up with the girl of his dreams. Sometimes, things DO work out. We lose sight of that in the grit and cynicism that we often associate with real artistic merit. Maybe this fascination of mine has more to do with the fact that I’ve lost a good deal of my own cynicism recently than anything else. (This is thanks, fittingly, to the girl with whom I first watched this particular movie.) And I like to think that losing some of my “edge” doesn’t have to negatively affect my writing. Maybe happy endings can be beautiful too. There, I said it.
4:02 AM: Time is moving by astoundingly quickly. I’m supposed to check the kids every fifteen minutes to make sure they’re not sneaking out or up to anything other than, well, sleeping. I had a bit of a heart attack a couple hours ago when one girl decided to move from her bed to the empty bunk above her. I saw an empty bed and my career as a group home tracker flashed before my eyes. However, I found her and all is well. That was, up until now, the most interesting part of the night. And I hope it stays that way. “Ed Wood” was a fun show. I’ll probably watch one more movie to pass the time. What a great job!
6:13 AM: So, “City of Angels?” Not such a good movie. And it came so highly recommended by everyone who tried to talk me out of hating Nicholas Cage. I didn’t mind it much but I was severely underwhelmed by the whole experience. I am currently caught up in a “very special” episode of “Saved By The Bell.” Zach and Slater were suspected of smoking pot because, I mean, what could be more likely than that? Then they went around a circle and told stories about their friends who had gotten involved with various types of hard drugs culminating in Jesse’s (the one who isn’t Tiffany Amber Theissen) confession about her crippling addiction to caffeine pills. Why I am watching “Saved By The Bell” is a mystery to me. I must be tired. Especially since I’m blogging about it. Come to think of it, caffeine pills might be a good investment for future graveyard shifts. I’m just kidding, of course. The temptation to sleep wasn’t even much of a reality tonight. Maybe I’ve found my calling at last: staying up all night.