Thursday, March 6, 2008

Reeee-JEC-ted!

I just got rejected. Yeah, it happens. A friend of mine was sitting on the slab within listening distance and undoubtedly paid rapt attention to the whole conversation. Had I been in her position, I would have cringed for a second then quickly reached for my moleskine notebook and written down the whole ordeal. It would have ended up in one of the "romance is ridiculous" plays I so enjoy writing and I would have laughed at the high drama so readily found in every corner of the HFAC.
It sucks to get shut down. That doesn't really need to be said. In the last month I've suffered two pretty major disappointments in the relationship arena. I don't say this to complain; like I said, it happens. The two situations were pretty different and my reaction surprised me to be honest. The first girl had been sending all the right signals and all signs pointed to yes. It was about to the point when I was going to embark on the inevitable DTR when she pulled a u-turn and sent the message loud and clear that she wasn't as interested as she had let on. I suppose at one point the idea to act like a child and blow me off seemed like a good way to "let me down easy" but somewhere along the way it got lost in translation. On the upside, the whole ordeal made her entirely unattractive and, thus, pretty easy to "get over." Obnoxious, yes. But heartbreaking? Not so much.
I wouldn't say I'm "heartbroken" right now. Just...disheartened. The second girl also was sending all the right signals. More so than perhaps any other girl I've taken on a first date. Somewhere along the line between then and now, though, she changed her mind. I asked her out a few minutes ago and she was very frank and honest about her lack of interest. I smiled and told her we should just hang out sometime then. As friends. She smiled in response and we left it on a good note. Or so she thought. My friend sitting five feet away certainly had a pretty good idea of the hurt behind the cordial acceptance of defeat. But what else could I do, right? The funny thing is how much more it sucked this time. I couldn't hide behind the frustration, irritation, and dismissal of the ridiculous behavior I met with the last girl. This time there really wasn't anything to cushion the painful realization of one more "no" to add to the pile. Okay, it was ONE DATE. It really shouldn't matter this much. And it isn't the shattering blow I may have made it out to be. It just sucks. I'm grateful though for a mature girl who's classy enough to come right out and say what's going on. No games. No manipulation. Just plain unadorned rejection. And to think I said I would prefer it this way...

2 comments:

Julie Wilding said...

NO WAY!!!

The Shark said...

Okay, dude. "Inevitable DTR" is a FALSE idea. The DTR should NEVER be inevitable. What's with people these days and thinking that "good communication" means sitting down and trying to verbally figure out where the relationship is? If anything, to me that means POOR communication is going on and you should probably break it off, or one/both of you has terrible confidence issues.

If you can't figure out what page each other is on based on your interactions together on dates, "hanging out," etc., then you're doomed. I know that being able to talk is a good thing, but trust me -- if your future together consists of a weekly, endless discussion of what the other person is thinking, you're going to be hating life. You should be able to read each other better than that, even if you've only been on a couple dates together.

Stop perpetuating the DTR myth.

Otherwise, I feel for you and hope your dating life picks up. Buck up, it gets better, and not all girls are as confusing as the ones you mention in this post.