Saturday, June 26, 2010

The straight dope and five reasons I don't want to go to grad school...

I don't blog very much. I have promised many times that I will be better about this but I never seem to follow through. So I'm not making any promises or resolutions or witty remarks about how ironic it is that a writer like me doesn't like to write most of the time. I'll just get on with it.

(I will say this: haveing seventy-five blogs, or however many I have started and abandoned like a blogging baby daddy, is not ideal and I will only be posting here now. Maybe that way I will be able to...Nope, no promises.)

My life is very boring right now. By "right now" I don't mean "these days" or "as of late," though I do feel that way at times. No, I mean literally right now as I'm waiting for it to be 6:00 and, thus, time to go home from work. While we wait, let me share some things with you:

Allegedly, the best way to tell the difference between a muffin and a cupcake (note the subjectivity of the word "best" here) is to throw them aganst a wall and listen for either a "poof" or a "thud." This is for real, it came from the internet. If you're wondering if I'll be trying this while I have my family's house to myself this week, stop wondering.

I tried to play Werewolves with my extended family last week and my Grandpa, gotta love him, was NOT amused. You see, he was a werewolf and when he was prompted by the moderator to choose someone he wanted to kill he promptly closed his eyes and refused to play any more. This game, by the way, is awesome and if I had enough friends in Sacramento I would have people over to play sometime. It is not nearly as nerdy as it sounds but I don't know why I'm explaining myself to you anyway.

Does anyone accept Discover cards?

In the courtyard of the Music Circus there is a fountain. I've observed so many people focused intently on this fountain for long periods of time and have done so myself on more than one occasion. I only wish I could write something that could capture and hold people's attention so easily.

And now, for a list...Why I don't want to go to grad school. Yet, I should say, "Why I don't want to go to grad school YET." (This just in, I can't decide whether the voice I'm hearing at my right is a male or female. I'm turning my head to look...And it's a woman. Mystery solved.) Back to grad school. Or to NOT going to grad school. It seems like my receiving my MFA in something or other is a foregone conclusion: you get your bachelor's, you putter around for a few years with big dreams, you get your master's, you work for years at a job you hate to pay off your student loans you incurred in the process of getting your master's, you wake up forty, disillusioned, and sad. So anyway, some reasons I have:
1. It seems to be a foregone conclusion that I will. And so screw you, establishment. (I'm so hardcore.) Being successful without one is really the only way I can prove that you don't need one.
2. Staged readings with talkback sessions. Ever sat through one? Want a program that's based on doing a lot of them? Me neither.
3. Your mom goes to college. Okay, no. That is not my reason. I do, however, want to point out that the people who made that movie did so without a master's. And they have more money than you do.
4. Writing a thesis. See also being attacked by carpenter ants.
5. Because I'm so afraid I'm going to end up there anyway, despite my lists or supposed solidarity right now. It's going to happen, I just know it! And it really pisses me off!

It's time to not be writing this anymore. Thank you for coming and I might see you soon, I might not. Okay? No promises.

But I'll write again soon, really.

1 comment:

Erica said...

Hahaha.. Mom called while you guys were playing that, and Grandpa told her he was a werewolf. I wish I could have been there. You have yet to teach us how to play. Why is this? I will remember, however, not to play with Grandpa.