As the dense fog of night abated, Natalie awoke to find that someone had absconded with her stamp collection. Though she typically abstained from alcohol, Natalie had made an exception the night before. Perhaps it was the surreal hovering mist, perhaps the veritable abyss of heartbreak and self-pity she seemed to be falling into. Dominic, her only companion for the evening, had laughed as she adulterated her vodka with water, assuming the role of advocate for moral irresponsibility.
Dominick, of course, was the most plausible suspect, he having been fascinated with the aesthetic of vintage American stamps since the fateful night she shared her obsession with him. The collection aggrandized her in his eyes and he had come by more frequently ever since. But Dominick was no thief and he had fallen asleep at the kitchen table after the previous night's binging had done nothing to alleviate his headache.
Precious stamp collections and wild drinking binges were a dangerous amalgamation but there was nothing ambiguous about what had happened between Natalie and her loyal downstairs neighbor. Maybe finding the stamps would ameliorate what was destined to be a painful morning anyway, the morning she would have to break her neighbor's heart.
His Chuck Taylors were charmingly anachronistic in her sleek modern kitchen and for a moment she considered letting him sleep. Waking him now seemed analogous to a stewardess rousing a slumbering passenger only to let him know there was turbulence ahead. Maybe last night was just an anomaly and he hadn't meant what he said; maybe the turbulence was past.
Deciding she wasn't ready to antagonize the only man who was yet to let her down, she resumed her search. Maybe it had been Esther, Natalie's elderly neighbor whose antipathy for everyone in the building could quite possibly lead her to break and enter and steal a valuable collection. Natalie suspected the doorman for a moment but realized his characteristic apathy would quench any inkling toward criminal activity. No, not the doorman, though she would keep him in mind if anyone needed to arbitrate a dispute between Natalie and Esther.
Dominic looked embarrassed as he woke up, his archaic ideal of chivalry having been broached by his unsolicited sleepover. She remembered the ardor with which Dominic had assured her she deserved much more than her ex-boyfriend could offer her. She remembered how he had searched for words to articulate how he felt about her, how he tried to assuage the shock with nervous smiles and shrugs.
"Good morning." Now it was Natalie's turn to smile nervously to attenuate what she was sure was a fierce hangover and fiercer embarrassment. Then, audatiously, "There's something I have to tell you."
He looked at her with an austerity she had never seen. "Is it about your stamps? Because I threw them out the window when I realized you could never love me."
(This story brought to you by the letter A. Yes, all of the GRE words in my book that start with A. Can you find them all?)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
To review...
CAPRICIOUS: changing one's mind quickly and often.
As in...The very fact that Matthew resumed studying GRE words after we all thought he had decided against graduate school demonstrates just how capricious he can be.
Let's get one thing straight: I have NOT decided to go to grad school. I can only say that there is ONE PROGRAM which really appeals to me, a program that requires the GRE for application. (This program would not require any student loans and would actually pay me to be a student so I don't consider it in the same category as the stuff I railed against in my last post.) Obviously, this is different from preparing for and applying to numerous schools, bent on getting accepted to and getting a degree from one program or another. I would be excited to go to this particular program because I think it would be good for me. And if I happen to get an advanced degree in the process, okay.
AMELIORATE: to make better; to improve
As in...Matthew looked forward to his upcoming move to Washington DC, certain that the change would ameliorate his situation.
I know, I know...Circumstances can't make you happy. In my defense, though, I am happy now in spite of some circumstances. It's not that I'm waiting to be happy again. I'm just recognizing that my situation could be better, NEEDS to be better, in fact. Much longer in Sacramento and I'll be stuck spinning my wheels and, consequently, miserable. So, eastward I go!
GREGARIOUS: outgoing, sociable
As in...Matthew, at times, has been known to be quite gregarious, but his social life has deteriorated significantly as of late.
Why does every social gathering available to me sounds so unappealing and painful? You mean I'm going to introduce myself fifty different times to fifty different people and regurgitate personal information they don't care about for an entire evening? You mean we're all going to take our shirts off and jump off a waterfall (honestly, how many opportunities to be emasculated could I possibly squeeze into one afternoon)? Does anyone think I'll give up a house to myself and a refrigerator full of string cheese for any of that? Yikes.
As in...The very fact that Matthew resumed studying GRE words after we all thought he had decided against graduate school demonstrates just how capricious he can be.
Let's get one thing straight: I have NOT decided to go to grad school. I can only say that there is ONE PROGRAM which really appeals to me, a program that requires the GRE for application. (This program would not require any student loans and would actually pay me to be a student so I don't consider it in the same category as the stuff I railed against in my last post.) Obviously, this is different from preparing for and applying to numerous schools, bent on getting accepted to and getting a degree from one program or another. I would be excited to go to this particular program because I think it would be good for me. And if I happen to get an advanced degree in the process, okay.
AMELIORATE: to make better; to improve
As in...Matthew looked forward to his upcoming move to Washington DC, certain that the change would ameliorate his situation.
I know, I know...Circumstances can't make you happy. In my defense, though, I am happy now in spite of some circumstances. It's not that I'm waiting to be happy again. I'm just recognizing that my situation could be better, NEEDS to be better, in fact. Much longer in Sacramento and I'll be stuck spinning my wheels and, consequently, miserable. So, eastward I go!
GREGARIOUS: outgoing, sociable
As in...Matthew, at times, has been known to be quite gregarious, but his social life has deteriorated significantly as of late.
Why does every social gathering available to me sounds so unappealing and painful? You mean I'm going to introduce myself fifty different times to fifty different people and regurgitate personal information they don't care about for an entire evening? You mean we're all going to take our shirts off and jump off a waterfall (honestly, how many opportunities to be emasculated could I possibly squeeze into one afternoon)? Does anyone think I'll give up a house to myself and a refrigerator full of string cheese for any of that? Yikes.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
The straight dope and five reasons I don't want to go to grad school...
I don't blog very much. I have promised many times that I will be better about this but I never seem to follow through. So I'm not making any promises or resolutions or witty remarks about how ironic it is that a writer like me doesn't like to write most of the time. I'll just get on with it.
(I will say this: haveing seventy-five blogs, or however many I have started and abandoned like a blogging baby daddy, is not ideal and I will only be posting here now. Maybe that way I will be able to...Nope, no promises.)
My life is very boring right now. By "right now" I don't mean "these days" or "as of late," though I do feel that way at times. No, I mean literally right now as I'm waiting for it to be 6:00 and, thus, time to go home from work. While we wait, let me share some things with you:
Allegedly, the best way to tell the difference between a muffin and a cupcake (note the subjectivity of the word "best" here) is to throw them aganst a wall and listen for either a "poof" or a "thud." This is for real, it came from the internet. If you're wondering if I'll be trying this while I have my family's house to myself this week, stop wondering.
I tried to play Werewolves with my extended family last week and my Grandpa, gotta love him, was NOT amused. You see, he was a werewolf and when he was prompted by the moderator to choose someone he wanted to kill he promptly closed his eyes and refused to play any more. This game, by the way, is awesome and if I had enough friends in Sacramento I would have people over to play sometime. It is not nearly as nerdy as it sounds but I don't know why I'm explaining myself to you anyway.
Does anyone accept Discover cards?
In the courtyard of the Music Circus there is a fountain. I've observed so many people focused intently on this fountain for long periods of time and have done so myself on more than one occasion. I only wish I could write something that could capture and hold people's attention so easily.
And now, for a list...Why I don't want to go to grad school. Yet, I should say, "Why I don't want to go to grad school YET." (This just in, I can't decide whether the voice I'm hearing at my right is a male or female. I'm turning my head to look...And it's a woman. Mystery solved.) Back to grad school. Or to NOT going to grad school. It seems like my receiving my MFA in something or other is a foregone conclusion: you get your bachelor's, you putter around for a few years with big dreams, you get your master's, you work for years at a job you hate to pay off your student loans you incurred in the process of getting your master's, you wake up forty, disillusioned, and sad. So anyway, some reasons I have:
1. It seems to be a foregone conclusion that I will. And so screw you, establishment. (I'm so hardcore.) Being successful without one is really the only way I can prove that you don't need one.
2. Staged readings with talkback sessions. Ever sat through one? Want a program that's based on doing a lot of them? Me neither.
3. Your mom goes to college. Okay, no. That is not my reason. I do, however, want to point out that the people who made that movie did so without a master's. And they have more money than you do.
4. Writing a thesis. See also being attacked by carpenter ants.
5. Because I'm so afraid I'm going to end up there anyway, despite my lists or supposed solidarity right now. It's going to happen, I just know it! And it really pisses me off!
It's time to not be writing this anymore. Thank you for coming and I might see you soon, I might not. Okay? No promises.
But I'll write again soon, really.
(I will say this: haveing seventy-five blogs, or however many I have started and abandoned like a blogging baby daddy, is not ideal and I will only be posting here now. Maybe that way I will be able to...Nope, no promises.)
My life is very boring right now. By "right now" I don't mean "these days" or "as of late," though I do feel that way at times. No, I mean literally right now as I'm waiting for it to be 6:00 and, thus, time to go home from work. While we wait, let me share some things with you:
Allegedly, the best way to tell the difference between a muffin and a cupcake (note the subjectivity of the word "best" here) is to throw them aganst a wall and listen for either a "poof" or a "thud." This is for real, it came from the internet. If you're wondering if I'll be trying this while I have my family's house to myself this week, stop wondering.
I tried to play Werewolves with my extended family last week and my Grandpa, gotta love him, was NOT amused. You see, he was a werewolf and when he was prompted by the moderator to choose someone he wanted to kill he promptly closed his eyes and refused to play any more. This game, by the way, is awesome and if I had enough friends in Sacramento I would have people over to play sometime. It is not nearly as nerdy as it sounds but I don't know why I'm explaining myself to you anyway.
Does anyone accept Discover cards?
In the courtyard of the Music Circus there is a fountain. I've observed so many people focused intently on this fountain for long periods of time and have done so myself on more than one occasion. I only wish I could write something that could capture and hold people's attention so easily.
And now, for a list...Why I don't want to go to grad school. Yet, I should say, "Why I don't want to go to grad school YET." (This just in, I can't decide whether the voice I'm hearing at my right is a male or female. I'm turning my head to look...And it's a woman. Mystery solved.) Back to grad school. Or to NOT going to grad school. It seems like my receiving my MFA in something or other is a foregone conclusion: you get your bachelor's, you putter around for a few years with big dreams, you get your master's, you work for years at a job you hate to pay off your student loans you incurred in the process of getting your master's, you wake up forty, disillusioned, and sad. So anyway, some reasons I have:
1. It seems to be a foregone conclusion that I will. And so screw you, establishment. (I'm so hardcore.) Being successful without one is really the only way I can prove that you don't need one.
2. Staged readings with talkback sessions. Ever sat through one? Want a program that's based on doing a lot of them? Me neither.
3. Your mom goes to college. Okay, no. That is not my reason. I do, however, want to point out that the people who made that movie did so without a master's. And they have more money than you do.
4. Writing a thesis. See also being attacked by carpenter ants.
5. Because I'm so afraid I'm going to end up there anyway, despite my lists or supposed solidarity right now. It's going to happen, I just know it! And it really pisses me off!
It's time to not be writing this anymore. Thank you for coming and I might see you soon, I might not. Okay? No promises.
But I'll write again soon, really.
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